WASHINGTON, D.C.—Drawing on his celebrated negotiation skills, President Donald Trump was able to convince a worker at Little Caesars to sell him a $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza for the “low, low price” of $10 while picking up lunch Thursday.
Impressed witnesses claim Trump utilized his wealth of business knowledge and interpersonal savvy to slyly persuade the employee to cut a “historic deal” with him on the large pepperoni pizza. Though the cashier was initially reluctant to sell the pizza for $5 over the stated price, he agreed once Trump threw in his Rolex watch and American flag lapel pin “to sweeten the pot.”
“It’s a great deal we got accomplished here today. Tremendous,” he said to reporters as he exited the restaurant with a $5 pizza he acquired for double price. “I hear Obama tried to negotiate a deal with these guys. They wouldn’t budge. They would only sell him their pizzas at sticker price. No good!”
“Many are saying it’s the greatest deal, maybe ever,” he added proudly.
At publishing time, Trump had stopped by a neighborhood 7-Eleven store and somehow managed to pick up a $6 pack of Diet Coke for just one $10 bill.