WASHINGTON D.C.—NASA recently announced its discovery of definitive evidence that there is water on the moon. President Donald Trump wasted no time, following up with an announcement of his own. “Water in space means only one thing,” he told the press. “We need to create a Space Navy.”
According to Trump, the Space Force would patrol the space skies -- “all that black stuff between planets” as he described it -- but any space water would be the domain of the Space Navy.
“We’ll get big, beautiful space battleships to put on the oceans of the moon,” Trump said. “And they’ll have big space cannons ready for any space water threats out there, like space sharks. Or maybe space pirates -- but not the regular space pirates that fly around in spaceships but space water pirates.”
Trump has already tasked people to design a logo, uniforms, and a space aircraft carrier -- though it would in fact be a space spacecraft carrier since there is no air in space. He also noted this is an innovation you would never get from “Sleepy Joe,” since Biden most likely goes to bed before it’s dark and has never even seen space.