COLD LAKE, AB—The X-Men may need to finally update to a more inclusive title, now that one of their most popular (previously male) members identifies as a woman.
“I’ve always known something was different about me, Bub,” the mutant explained while delicately applying nail polish to his long, metallic claws. “Ever since I could remember, I’ve felt like a woman trapped in adamantium trapped in a mutant trapped in a man’s body.”
Unfortunately, the path to Wolverine’s new gender identity has been hairy, to say the least. After the most recent 17th attempt at trying to feminize the superhero’s physical appearance, surgeons have remained unsuccessful.
“His mutant healing factor alone presents incredible challenges when it comes to removing certain physical attributes, or adding implants,” said lead surgeon, Dr. Lee D’Serjin, “but then there’s the impenetrable adamantium skeleton that just makes it impossible!”
“I haven’t had a case this difficult since Wade Wilson claimed to identify as a ferret.”
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.