COLUMBIA, SC—Local woman Michelle Desmond tragically dropped dead of a sudden, acute feeling of awkwardness Wednesday evening while sharing the gospel with one of her coworkers, a representative for persecuted church ministry Open Doors confirmed.
Desmond was seen asking her associate from the accounting department whether or not he believed in God as the two exited the building for the night when the awkwardness attack occurred, leaving the 29-year-old Customer Service Representative crumpled on the floor as the coworker ran to get help.
The tragedy confirms many American Christians’ worst fears, that the sense of discomfort which usually arises when telling an acquaintance about Jesus could potentially be fatal.
“This just goes to show you how dangerous it is to share the gospel in closed countries like America,” the Open Doors representative said. “You really have to count the cost before you decide to open your mouth and proclaim His truth in your middle-class, suburban neighborhood—you could lose everything.”
“Are you prepared to suffer a potentially deadly, super-awkward feeling for the sake of Jesus?” he added.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.