LONDON—Immediately after Julian Assange claimed to have information on the plot of Avengers: Endgame and vowed to leak it onto the internet, Ecuador, the UK, and the United States all banded together to forcibly remove him from the Ecuadorian embassy and extradite him to the US for prosecution.
"The leaks about our illegal activities were pretty annoying, of course, but this was too far," said a representative for the U.S. government. "Anyone who so much as jokes about spoiling Endgame for me will suffer immediate prosecution."
Assange admitted the leak was probably ill-advised. "Yes, we've leaked some really sensitive information, such as U.S. leaders' emails, video of journalists and civilians being shot by American helicopters, and proof of a whole host of evils committed by the world's governments. But I get that maybe we should have sat on this one this time," he told reporters from his jail cell.
The controversial figure then began to tell reporters how the Avengers defeat Thanos but was tased to shut him up.