World's Economy Saved As Giant Crack In Earth Swallows Up All G7 Conference Attendees
Politics

CORNWALL—A time of peace and prosperity has broken out across the earth after a sudden earthquake opened up a crack in the earth's crust and swallowed up all G7 world leaders in mere seconds. 

Witnesses reported feeling a low rumble beneath their feet as Joe Biden, Justin Trudeau, Angela Merkel, and others gathered on the green grass for a photo op. The rumble grew to a roar as the ground below them opened up and dragged every G7 leader into the depths of the earth. The ground then closed up over them and they were never heard from again.

"Hey guys, please remember to use my preferred pronouns," Trudeau had begun to say. "We need to be sensitive to-- AAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Experts are unsure who will be taking over the important work of running the planet, issuing random lockdown orders, and fighting climate change in the absence of such brilliant and courageous leaders.

"This is such a disaster. What will we ever do without them?" said 1 or 2 people around the world. 

World governments have assured their citizens they will continue the important work of building back better for everyone. American citizens will be mourning the terrible loss this weekend with backyard barbecues. 

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